Let’s be clear —
a personal note from Seido, caretaker of Hokoku-An Zendo.
I’m not a Zen Master; and as far as being a Rinzai Zen monk goes, I’m the first to admit that I’m not a very good one. I don’t have much to offer other than a zendo for practicing zazen, a schedule for periods of practice, and my presence to light the incense and candles and ring the bell and sit zazen with you. Beyond that, I don’t waste time thinking about becoming a “Zen Master” or even getting “Enlightened.”
Until you stop seeking it, enlightenment is whatever you think it is and it’s always out of reach. As long as you keep conceiving of enlightenment as some state of mind or mindless/mindfulness you’re still conceptualizing and making more work for yourself. Zazen is such a direct line to simply breathing and being, before and beyond any narrative — just sitting. Step back and breathe. Regular, dedicated practice is your responsibility.
To provide a zendo and to create a practice schedule for zazen and chanting 6 days a week: that’s my job as a working monk — to provide a place to practice zazen for others and to show up to practice with them. That’s more or less what Sasaki Roshi instructed me to do when he ordained me: You become monk now. Start Zen Center. Teach Americans Zen, okay? That’s what he said word for word. What I teach at Hokoku-An is basic, kindergarten Zen: show up and sit: that’s it — start there.
It’s been over 20 years now of showing up to sit as the jikijitsu of Hokoku-An Zendo who conducts the service no matter how many or few people show up. For the most part there’s always someone; but there are times when I sit alone and I’m grateful for the absence of others and for having the empty zendo to myself. On those rare occasions when no one shows up I’m reminded of the fact that, monk or no monk, robes or no robes, vows or no vows, sangha or no sangha, I’m still sitting zazen just as I did for the 20 plus years before I was ordained. I sit. Beyond that, I have nothing to teach.
Hokoku-An Zendo has been a refuge for those who seek a quiet place to practice Zen meditation. That’s why, until very recently, I never had a website or advertised Hokoku-An’s existence — I’m not in the business of being a Zen Monk. People have found Hokoku-An the old school way: more or less by accident. Recently, some in the Hokoku-An sangha have encouraged me to create a website and to try to make Zen practice available to more people. We are presently searching for a larger, public space to offer Zen practice to a broader, more inclusive community.
